The Six Core Birthrights

What Every Child Deserves — and What Every Adult Must Reclaim to Heal

From the moment we enter this world, we are born with essential emotional and psychological rights. These birthrights form the foundation of healthy development, authentic connection, and a functional sense of self. When honored, they help us grow into grounded, confident, relational human beings.

When violated—through neglect, chaos, inconsistencies, or trauma—we lose access to parts of ourselves that were never meant to be taken. Healing is the process of reclaiming these birthrights so we can live from our Functional Adult Self.

Below are the six Core Birthrights, defined and expanded for deeper clarity and personal reflection

1. The Birthright to Be Valued

“I matter simply because I exist.”

Every child deserves to be seen, welcomed, and treated as inherently valuable. When caregivers delight in us, protect us, and show consistent interest in who we are, we internalize the truth that we are worthy and lovable.

When this birthright is denied:

• We learn to work for worth
• We become perfectionistic or invisible
• We carry shame as our default identity
• We rely on external validation to feel whole

Reclaiming this birthright means:
Re-learning that your value is not based on performance, productivity, or pleasing others.
You matter because you are here.

2. The Birthright to Be Vulnerable and Protected

“I am safe enough to be vulnerable.”

As children, we are supposed to be vulnerable—open, tender, and dependent. We rely on adults to protect us physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

When this birthright is denied:

• We become hyper-independent
• We shut down emotionally
• We stay guarded or suspicious
• We avoid intimacy because it feels unsafe

Reclaiming this birthright means:
Allowing yourself to receive care, set boundaries, risk openness, and let safe people see your internal world. Vulnerability becomes a path to connection, not danger.

3. The Birthright to Be Imperfect and Fully Human

“I am allowed to learn, make mistakes, and grow.”

Children must be able to fail, try again, misjudge, ask for help, and be messy. This is how we learn.

When this birthright is denied:

• We develop perfectionism
• We fear criticism, failure, or disappointment
• We become rigid, cautious, or self-punishing
• We feel unsafe unless everything is controlled

Reclaiming this birthright means:
Accepting your humanness. Practicing compassion. Letting go of the fantasy that you must be flawless to be loved or safe.

4. The Birthright to Have Needs and Wants

“My needs and desires are legitimate.”

We are born needing physical care, affection, guidance, attention, rest, comfort, boundaries, and connection. Having needs is human—not shameful.

When this birthright is denied:

• We become anti-dependent or overly dependent
• We feel ashamed for needing anything
• We attract partners who cannot meet us
• We expect others to “guess” our needs
• We self-abandon

Reclaiming this birthright means:
Identifying, honoring, and communicating your needs. Giving your inner child the care they were denied.

5. The Birthright to Be Spontaneous and Joyful

“I am free to play, explore, and experience joy.”

Healthy childhood includes play, imagination, creativity, silliness, curiosity, and moments of pure joy. These experiences wire the brain for resilience, connection, and emotional regulation.

When this birthright is denied:

• We become overly serious
• We feel guilty experiencing pleasure
• We stay in survival mode
• We forget how to rest or play
• Joy feels unsafe or unfamiliar

Reclaiming this birthright means:
Inviting joy back into your life—through play, creativity, humor, movement, nature, and small moments of delight. You deserve to feel alive.

6. The Birthright to Be Attached and Connected

“I am meant to love and be loved.”

Humans are wired for connection. We need attunement, eye contact, warmth, responsiveness, and relational consistency.

When this birthright is denied:

• We attach insecurely (anxious, avoidant, disorganized)
• We fear abandonment or engulfment
• We struggle with closeness or trust
• We confuse intensity with intimacy

Reclaiming this birthright means:
Building safe, mutual relationships where you can be known without losing yourself. Practicing interdependence—connection with autonomy.

Bringing the Birthrights Back Into Your Life

These six birthrights are not abstract concepts; they are the foundation of a functional, healthy adult self. You do not earn them.

You reclaim them.



Your healing is the journey of restoring what was originally yours.